This excerpt is from Healing Kundalini Symptoms by Tara Springett. If you find it helpful please purchase the book.
When working with anger, we should, first of all, realise that anger – just like fear – also has a healthy function. It is a warning sign, for example, that we are being exploited or manipulated in a relationship. We should not try to “meditate away” this form of anger but, instead, use it to try to change our relationship or distance ourselves. I will say more about difficult relationships in chapter eight. The exercise below is only for out-of-control anger and useless long-term irritation or grudges, which are feelings that can harm our mental and physical health.
I have many clients who believe that, from a spiritual point of view, all forms of anger are “wrong” and spiritually advanced people never have these feelings, let alone express them. But Tibetan Buddhism teaches us something different. Here we can find the so-called wrathful deities who act with power and a certain aggression against anything that impedes the spiritual path. There are, for example, images that show a bloodstained female goddess dancing on a male corpse. The dead body is a symbol of the worldly ego, which must “die” before we can wake up to our divine self.
There are also Buddhist teachings saying that a small amount of anger is beneficial because it makes people more intelligent. You can see things a bit more clearly with a bit of anger and you will recognise more easily what is right and wrong. School teachers or judges, for example, will do their job better if they are not the kind of person who always finds everyone just nice and has no opinion about anything. From a psychological perspective too, the suppression of anger can be extremely damaging and can cause depression, chronic fatigue, pain and even psychosomatic auto-immune diseases.
On the other hand, there is a teaching in Tibetan Buddhism that says that a single moment of rage will wipe out a large number of good deeds.
The accuracy of this teaching is easily seen when we consider that a single tantrum can break apart a long-standing friendship. Therefore, our task is to find the middle path between the extremes of self-justified aggression and complete submission. This task can never be easy and the following guidelines should help us find this middle ground.
What to do if you are angry?
Avoid all strong expressions of anger like shouting at other people, hitting pillows or screaming alone in the car. These activities create negative karma when other people are being attacked and if you express your anger alone, you will only reinforce your habitual anger.
Ask yourself, if the conflict is worth a fight. What will be the long-term consequences if you now tell the other person your frank and angry opinion? Be aware that you have the freedom to choose your battles.
Think about whether you want to use the provocation as an opportunity to practise patience and tolerance.
Consider whether you are willing to accept the provocation as your bad karma. Be aware that this would cleanse your bad karma.
Think about whether humour may be the best response to certain provocations. Especially in the family, humour can dissolve much aggravation and anger towards our partner and children.
Be aware that it is perfectly normal and harmless to have aggressive thoughts about other people from time to time. Such thoughts alone do not trigger bad karma; only actual words or deeds will. However, chronic anger or resentment are harmful to our mental health and our physical health since they weaken our immune system.
If you want to take action against your “enemy”, I suggest strongly that you practise the anti-anger exercise below for a few days before you do it.
Always resist the temptation to disparage or dominate the other person or take revenge. Only try to protect yourself and make it clear to the other person that they have done something wrong. If necessary, hand over the case to the police or other authorities.
The following exercise is designed to help you to rid yourself of all your old and unnecessary resentments. You can also use it to mentally prepare for conflict discussions. This exercise is not meant, however, to replace these discussions or avoid all conflicts. In chapter eight, I will describe in more detail how we can transform relationships in which we often become angry and upset. The exercise will also help anyone who suffers from frequent feelings of impatience, boredom, frustration or annoyance because these are all signs of subliminal, smouldering anger. This exercise can also be used for anger at large groups of people, for example, the health system or our capitalist economy.
Anti-Anger Exercise
Start with the first three steps of higher-consciousness healing as described in the fourth chapter.
Focus especially on the love of your higher consciousness and the love for yourself. Say, “I love myself with my anger” and imagine comforting yourself.
If you do not know why you are angry, feel into your body to notice where you sense the anger and imagine a mouth in this body part. Let the mouth express the anger. For some people, maybe only swear words will come out. Try to sense who you would want to say those words to. In all likelihood, they are your family members or (ex-)partners.
Imagine the person you are angry with in front of you in a second bubble of light. This ball of light sits between the hands of your very large higher power – one hand is underneath the bubble and the other on top of it with fingers touching to surround the entire bubble. Move the higher consciousness with this ball away from you until the distance feels just right. You can even place your divine parent with the bubble on another planet.
Say three sentences to this person in the following way:
Firstly, explain briefly and clearly what this person has done wrong without any explanation or apologies (i.e. not, “he had a bad childhood” etc.)
Secondly, say, ” stop grudging you now.” Make it clear to yourself that chronic anger is harming you physically and psychologically and that you want to let it go. This does not mean condoning the other person’s bad deeds or somehow discounting or forgetting them.
Thirdly, say to the other person, ” wish you to be healed” Imagine how divine light starts flowing between the hands of your higher power filling the body of the person in the bubble from the bottom up. When the light reaches the brain of this person, they can see themselves as they really are and, thereby, recognise all their incorrect intentions and actions. If possible, intuitively perceive how this person responds to these insights.
If you wish a complete separation from this person, let them disappear in their ball over the horizon.
If you still feel some anger in your body, smile into that part of the body and penetrate it with kindness and love. Simultaneously, deeply relax this part of your body by imagining a flower bud opening and light radiating out of it.
Now do everything that is necessary to clarify the conflict with the other person. If it is a very old conflict where there is nothing left to discuss, you can just forget it.
