Learn
Taking the Next Step, Together.
For couples considering Enfold, and for the partners who have questions.
This article is for two kinds of people.
The first: Couples wondering whether to come to Enfold together, or to come individually at separate times.
The second: People who aren’t planning to come, but whose husband, wife, or partner is considering it, and who have understandable questions about what an intensive at Enfold is all about.
Both of you deserve a clear, honest picture. At Enfold, we’re committed to helping each person who arrives at our centre feel clear, confident, and informed, and to do the same for their partner.
Here you’ll find firsthand reflections from couples who have done this work: some side by side, and some who arrived at it at different times.
“We can disagree now without anger and defensiveness taking over. We have a deeper understanding of one another, and we feel ourselves moving forward in strength, ready to see and serve each other as true partners.”
A couple's Story: George + Gail
George and Gail came to Enfold together in April 2026. These are their words, shared with their permission.
What was the state of your relationship before Enfold, and what made you decide to do this together?
We’re an older couple, together three years. We’ve both been married before, not happily, and we both consider this to be the great love of our lives. We’re also both Aries: strong opinions, deep passions. We each carry trust issues. One of us responds to hurt with defensiveness, the other with anger. We’d worked on this intentionally, but over the last six months a difficult family situation tested us.
Even the preparation for Enfold surfaced points of contention we needed to face. We kept returning to a phrase: ‘the ceremony begins when you decide to go.’ The day we took the ferry to Bowen Island where Enfold is located, we had a particularly hard argument about what it means to be a couple. We told Steve and Austin about it the moment we arrived.
Was there a moment during the Awakening to Life intensive you won’t forget?
George: I experienced a significant somatic release during the 5-MeO-DMT journey, and it continued in the sauna and cold plunge. Afterward there was a moment when I felt seen and accepted, and that let me see my true self more clearly. I no longer feel as limited by my past, by the old stories. I’m less identified with my anger, sadness, and grief. At times I find myself in an unfamiliar state: true happiness. At the end of the breathwork, when Arthur’s voice led a song, I felt the power of connection and the blessing of real community.
Gail: Every ceremony helped me. It began with Meet the Medicine, when I could ask for what I needed: to be held while I worked something through in my body. I released an old, familiar fear of being abandoned. That prepared me for a full release in the 5-MeO-DMT journey, where I felt ecstasy, bliss, and finally a deep calm that has largely stayed with me. In the breathwork, my late husband came into my awareness, and I felt old anger, shame, and sadness clear. I know this helps me be more present with George.
How has your relationship changed since?
We can disagree now without anger and defensiveness taking over. We have a deeper understanding of one another, and we feel ourselves moving forward in strength, ready to see and serve each other as true partners.
What surprised you most about doing this side by side?
We’ve sat in ceremonies together before, including two previous 5-MeO-DMT experiences, so we could support each other well, both in the room and in the integration that followed. The Enfold container held us. The caring staff, and above all the spaciousness of time, were the greatest gifts. We could surrender to each experience as it came, with the tender care of our partner during the times of rest.
What would you say to a couple on the fence?
It’s understandable to be afraid. What if I say something that hurts my partner? We’d urge you to come anyway. Sharing this brought a synergy to our relationship, because we see each other more fully now. We have deeper compassion for the wounded parts and greater appreciation for each other’s courage and commitment. Austin and Steve were so open about their own relationship that it helped us relax and make space for what needed to emerge.
“We had deeper conversations right away, and both of us felt an immense amount of trust and safety. Walls and defenses came down almost at once.”
A couple's Story: Caroline + Doug
Caroline came to Enfold first. Several months later, Doug followed. They did this work apart, at different times, rather than side by side. These are their words, shared with their permission.
When Caroline came to Enfold first and Doug stayed home, what did that do to the relationship in the weeks around it?
Doug: Caroline went to Enfold before me, and that decision on her part engendered both respect and curiosity in me.
Caroline: I’m fortunate in that Doug has always had an interest in spirituality, and in his youth he experimented with psychedelics. He has also always been willing to explore the dynamics of our relationship. When I decided to attend, he was fully supportive, although not at that point committed to attending himself.
When Caroline came home changed, how did that land between you? Doug, what did you notice, and how did you find your footing again?
Doug: When she came home, I noticed and felt a calmness in her, and a clear intention to hold on to that new feeling. It created a very relaxed and focused dynamic in our communication. It was as if I had shared her transformation, and I wanted to listen more closely and respond more carefully.
Caroline: When I returned, my energy had changed. I felt calmer, more present, and his energy almost immediately changed as a result. We had deeper conversations right away, and both of us felt an immense amount of trust and safety. Walls and defenses came down almost at once.
By the time Doug went, the relationship had already shifted once. What were you each hoping it would do for the two of you, and did that hope match what happened?
Doug: I went to Enfold hoping to understand my early traumas, and with that awareness to find the tools to release some false beliefs that were holding me back. The experience created a safe, honest, and compassionate space that let me catch my breath and recognize my very human life. It gave me permission to acknowledge and love myself, and with that renewed willingness I could comfortably work on myself alongside my partner.
Caroline: I was very happy when Doug decided to go. He was initially worried that I might expect him to come back magically transformed in some way. I assured him that was not the case, that he would benefit hugely just for himself, and that any impact on our relationship would be incidental. At that point I felt so centered that it would have made no difference to me if he came back and things were as they had been, which was already pretty good. But he did come back with a new perspective: a realization that some of his old patterns and ways of reacting no longer served him, that some of his responses were automatic rather than authentic.
Looking at your relationship now, what is different in how you treat each other day to day?
Caroline: Before Enfold, I could be irritable and impatient with Doug over small things: a seatbelt put on too late, the water left running, being too slow to get ready. I would have minor panic attacks as a passenger when he was driving, and long periods of melancholy. My nervous system seemed dysregulated. To this day, seven months later, none of those behaviours have returned. No irritability, no impatience, no panic attacks, no melancholy. Doug could feel that I was no longer nagging him or pressuring him to be different than he was. Since he returned, our interactions are even more positive. When I bring something up now, his old impulse to withdraw or become defensive is gone. We have great conversations about what might be getting triggered. Doug seems happier too.
Doug: As a couple, there are virtually no obstacles we cannot surmount together. We have each other’s back, and a toolkit to unravel and quiet any disturbance that arises. Caroline has become a compassionate guide for me, and she helps me see, even now, when my ego is trying to control the narrative.
You arrived at this work on your own timelines, Caroline first and Doug second. In hindsight, what did walking through it separately give your relationship?
Doug: Going separately gave us safe ground to uncover our own reasons for going. We each have an individual journey that has to be started alone, and the initial fear and discomfort are a critical part of the awakening. My separate time let me show up as myself, without all the clothes I had come to wear in my relationship at home. It also let me feel the strong presence of my Enfold brothers, a beautiful and commanding connection that told me I am not alone in my struggle to find myself. Going alone, and knowing Caroline had walked a similar path, has anchored our love and respect for each other.
Caroline: It never would have occurred to me to go to Enfold with Doug as my first experience. It is very liberating to show up with all your crap and your embarrassing admissions in front of strangers who won’t judge you. Couples do manage each other’s emotional life to some extent, and how nice not to have to do that in a setting where you are digging deep into your own. I could see going with Doug at a later date.
“Together, the unforgettable part was feeling deeply connected without needing many words. It wasn’t a big dramatic conversation. It was a knowing: I see you. I understand you. I’m here with you.”
A couple's Story: Chantal + Tony
Chantal and Tony came to Enfold together. These are Chantal’s words, reflecting on the experience for them both, lightly edited and shared with their permission.
What was the state of your relationship before Enfold, and what made you decide to do this together?
Before we came to Enfold, I wouldn’t say our relationship was broken. That’s not the right word. But we were carrying a lot. Like many couples, life had become full: kids, work, businesses, and the day-to-day pressure of keeping everything moving. Even when you love each other, it’s easy to start operating like partners in life management rather than two people who are deeply connected.
There was no dramatic crisis, but there were layers. Old patterns. Defensiveness. Things we had talked about before but maybe hadn’t fully felt or healed. We wanted to go deeper, not just to fix a problem, but to understand ourselves and each other better. Doing it together mattered. I didn’t want this to be an individual experience that we came home and tried to explain to each other. There was something powerful about being in the same container, witnessed by each other, both choosing to step into something vulnerable. We were ready to stop talking about growth and actually step into it together.
Was there a moment during the intensive you won’t forget?
There were so many. From our group connection to feeling each other’s love, every session had its own deep sense of belonging. For me, the breathwork the day after ceremony will forever be in my heart. I felt an unexplainable release. For Tony, one of the biggest moments was seeing me in such a raw and open state: not as his wife, not as the person he does life with every day, but almost as my pure self, without the usual layers that stress and protection create. He was able to feel things he normally keeps buried, and to see how much he carries, how much he protects himself, and how that can create distance without his even meaning to. Together, the unforgettable part was feeling deeply connected without needing many words. It wasn’t a big dramatic conversation. It was a knowing: I see you. I understand you. I’m here with you.
How has your relationship changed since?
Our relationship feels softer now. Not perfect, not magically fixed, but softer. Tony understands me at a deeper level, with more compassion, and I have more compassion for him. There are things you can talk about for years without really feeling their truth until an experience like this brings them forward. It helped us see each other with less defensiveness, and to remember that we’re not against each other. We each have our own fears and ways of protecting ourselves.
The biggest change is that there is more space between us now. More room to pause, to listen, to not immediately react the old way. We still have hard moments, we’re still human, but now we have a deeper reference point to return to. It helped us feel each other again, not just manage life together.
What surprised you most about doing this side by side?
How personal the experience was, even though we did it together. I expected that going as a couple would make it about “us” the whole time, our marriage, our patterns. But much of the work was really about each of us as individuals. We had to face our own stuff, and then come back together with a deeper understanding of what each of us carries.
A relationship isn’t only two people working on the relationship. It’s also two people doing their own healing and truth-telling. When one person changes how they see themselves, it changes how they show up with the other. We were also surprised by how much love was there underneath everything. Under the stress and the patterns, there was still so much love. It hadn’t gone anywhere. It had just been covered up by life.
What would you say to a couple on the fence?
For us, this wasn’t fun or casual. It was powerful, emotional, at times uncomfortable, and deeply meaningful. Be open to the idea that it may affect you differently. One person may have a big emotional release, the other a quieter experience. One may feel clear right away, the other may need time. Don’t expect the same outcome. And remember the medicine is only part of it. The container matters. The people holding the space matter. The preparation matters, and the integration afterward matters even more. That’s what made Enfold different for us: being supported before, during, and after.
It didn’t magically fix everything. But it opened something. It gave us a deeper level of connection, compassion, and understanding. I’d tell another couple: don’t rush it, don’t romanticize it, and don’t treat it like a shortcut. But don’t dismiss it either. Done in the right setting, with the right people, and for the right reasons, it can be incredibly powerful.
“You won’t regret it. Fear is often the only thing standing in the way. In life, we are constantly faced with a choice: move toward fear or move toward love. If you are ready to choose love, don’t wait any longer.”
A couple's Story: Lisa + Steve
Lisa and Steve came to Enfold together. These are Lisa’s words, reflecting on the experience for them both, shared with their permission.
What was the state of your relationship before you came to Enfold, and what made you decide to do this together?
We had separated for four months about two years before attending Enfold. When we first got back together, things were wonderful, but over time we slowly slipped back into autopilot. Old habits, frustrations, and patterns quietly began resurfacing in our relationship. While we continued to create meaningful experiences together, they were often followed by periods of struggle and disconnection.
We have attended retreats together in the past, and the benefits have always been so profound that it never occurred to us to do one separately. Although I was seeking to further my own healing journey, I was equally motivated by the desire to reconnect with my partner on a deeper level and strengthen the foundation of our relationship.
Was there a moment during the intensive, for either of you individually or together, that you won’t forget?
There were so many moments that will stay with me forever. The first occurred during the “Meet the Medicine” experience. About five medicine doses in, I found myself transported back to being an embryo in my mother’s womb. I felt overwhelmed with fear and sadness and began sobbing. Austin came over and wrapped me in her loving, healing embrace, while my partner, Steve, paused his own journey to sit beside me and hold my hand. In that moment, his hand felt like my umbilical cord. I was connected to him in a way I had never experienced before. He became my air, my nourishment, my protection, and my safety.
The second unforgettable moment happened the following day during the “Open Your Heart” ceremony. Words and emotions flowed freely from my heart in a way I had never experienced before. I was able to speak my truth openly and honestly, and Steve responded rather than reacted. For the first time, I felt completely safe to express myself in a space filled with love, openness, and acceptance.
The third moment was perhaps the most beautiful and profound of all. We chose to be together during the larger medicine journey. I went first and was once again taken through a series of deeply transformative experiences. At one point, I encountered a beautiful white light and felt God speaking directly to me. God showed me Steve’s soul and reassured me that he was safe: that I could trust him, rely on him, and fully open my heart to him. I was shown how deeply he loves me.
Even while still in the experience, I could sense Steve behind me crying. When I emerged from the journey, he was right there, holding me. In that moment, I knew with absolute certainty that he has always been my soulmate.
How has your relationship changed since the intensive?
Our relationship has changed in meaningful ways. We still experience conflict from time to time, but the difference lies in how we navigate it. We communicate differently. We listen more deeply. We approach challenges with greater compassion and understanding.
When I notice myself falling into old patterns of negative thinking, I now pause and ask myself, “What am I afraid of in this moment?” That simple question has been incredibly powerful.
One of the most valuable tools we gained from Enfold was learning about Internal Family Systems (IFS). Understanding each other’s parts has been a complete game changer. It has given us a deeper level of empathy and insight into one another, allowing us to continue growing together long after the retreat ended.
What surprised you most about doing this work side by side?
Having attended retreats before, I am always amazed and deeply grateful for the soul-to- soul connection that emerges through this work. The medicine has a way of lovingly stripping away the layers of fear, pain, and conditioning that obscure our true selves. As we reconnect with our own light and learn to love ourselves more fully, we naturally become more capable of loving one another unconditionally.
What surprised me most, however, was Steve and Austin themselves. Their love, kindness, compassion, and healing presence, as individuals and as a couple, are truly palpable. It is woven into everything they do and creates an environment where profound transformation feels possible.
What would you say to a couple who is on the fence about doing something like this?
You won’t regret it. Fear is often the only thing standing in the way. In life, we are constantly faced with a choice: move toward fear or move toward love. If you are ready to choose love, don’t wait any longer.
We were the only couple attending our retreat, and several participants told us they wished their own partners were there to experience it alongside them. They were surprised by our openness and by our willingness to share our deepest truths with one another.
For me, one of the greatest gifts of Enfold was feeling completely safe to be honest. I didn’t hold back my feelings, frustrations, or vulnerabilities, and that honesty was essential to my healing and growth. I credit that to the environment Steve, Austin, and Arthur created. They foster a space where people can speak their truth with kindness, compassion, and love.
To be clear, this work is not easy. Nothing truly worthwhile ever is. It is not a quick fix, nor is it a magic solution. But the insights, healing, and transformation that emerge from the process are invaluable.
If you want to deepen your connection, cultivate greater intimacy, and experience profound personal and relational growth, this retreat can be truly life-changing. The lessons and gifts you receive will stay with you for a lifetime.
If you're not the one coming..
Sometimes one person feels the pull toward this work and the other does not. If your partner is considering Enfold, you likely have some questions. Here are answers to the ones we hear most. We’re always happy to chat with you directly as well.
In recent years, 5-MeO-DMT has been studied in formal clinical trials with human participants. These studies have found it to be well-tolerated by the human body, with a reassuring short-term safety profile. Furthermore, a formulation of 5-MeO-DMT has been granted Breakthrough Therapy status by the FDA in the United States, a designation reserved for medicines with particularly promising therapeutic potential.
5-MeO-DMT also has a very short half-life of about 18 minutes, meaning the body metabolizes it quickly rather than lingering in the system. For comparison, the caffeine in a single cup of coffee has a half-life of roughly five hours, more than fifteen times as long.
We take great care with screening and safety, and the experience of our guests reflects that care. We work closely with a pharmacologist and a psychiatrist, whom we consult any time a question arises about medication interactions or a guest’s health. If you have any questions about your partner’s health or whether this is a good fit for them, we would love to talk them through with you.
At Enfold, the medicine sits inside a setting built around your partner’s wellbeing: an unhurried conversation about their health and history before they arrive, experienced facilitators present throughout, well-established protocols, and a calm, supportive environment. That preparation is what lets people relax into the experience.
We have facilitated over 700 5-MeO-DMT sessions over 7 years without any adverse medical events or outcomes. That speaks to the level of care, training, and safety we bring to this work.
People do change, but the change usually looks like this: calmer, less reactive, more present, less gripped by fear or anger. The defences that get in the way of love tend to soften. In our experience, people do not come back as strangers. They come back more like themselves, the version that has been there underneath all along.
One past guest, Ryan, said of his wife Jen, who came to Enfold first before he attended later on his own:
‘It wasn’t like she was fundamentally different after she returned. It’s like there was more of her there.’
George and Gail came together and left closer. Caroline went first and Doug followed, and they describe a relationship that has only grown more open. For guests who come on their own, the whole point of this work is to breathe more into the life and relationships they already have, not to pull them away from them. If you
are afraid of losing your partner, the far more common outcome is gaining a more open one.
Recreational use and ceremonial work are not the same thing. Here the medicine sits inside a structured process: preparation beforehand, clear intention, trained support throughout, and weeks of integration afterward. The substance is one part of a much larger, carefully held experience. The point is never the experience itself. It is what becomes possible in someone’s life once they are home.
Definitely not, though we understand why the emphasis on white and beige in our color scheme could create that impression! The language can sound intense, the practices are unfamiliar, and people often come home visibly moved. But consider what a cult actually does. It isolates you, demands loyalty, discourages questions, and asks you to surrender your judgment, and often your money, over time. Enfold is the opposite of that. It is time-bound: guests come, do the work, and go home. There is no ongoing obligation, no doctrine to adopt, no one to recruit. We welcome questions, including skeptical ones. The entire aim is to return your partner more fully to their own life, their own values, and their relationships, including the one with you.
A member of our team would be delighted to speak with you and answer any questions you may have. We’re glad to talk with you directly and honestly.
Please email arthur@enfold.org
