No longer numb to any feeling connection or purpose.
Our entire lives will build up walls. Some are stronger than others, some from our childhood, some from adulthood. These walls grow thick. The ego-body refuses any real emotional depth to develop. Our personalities cement further, our defence tactics more fortified and our outward caricatures draw themselves with more and more detail. This is not us. this is not you. You know you, and you know that at your deepest being, you are not the ego-body you present. I was fortunate to have the opportunity to embark on this journey by choice. If I had left my ego and traumas up to their own devices much longer, I would have been forced to face myself, either at a last attempt to save the child within, or at deaths doorstep. I had found myself unable to feel – the good emotions or the bad emotions. I was unable to taste the fruit of life or to feel any texture to it at all. I was high functioning, high producing and successful. But numb to any feeling, connection or purpose.
During my journey with Enfold, we pointed the strongest cannon we could find and pointed it directly at all of my emotional barriers, trauma, anxiety and other human defence mechanisms. We did this in a beautifully safe space and controlled environment. We soaked the soul in safety and proceeded to break through decades of narrative that no-longer served me. And finally, I felt.
Now, while the work is not done, I am able to feel, cultivate emotion & slow down. Taste what life has to offer. I can see the cracks through my own fortified mental compound. I will work with those cracks to open them up further. To feel & love more. To find and love the child within. To let him know he is not alone, behind those castle walls.
Enfold provided the starting point for this work, the potency of the medium was needed, now I continue to dismantle the wall, brick by brick. This is the work of healing. The work that is needed to fully indulge in life, not just endure through it.