Healing from PTSD

So, I am a 58 year old surgeon from the Deep South, USA. I was raised in a Christian home by wonderful parents and had a normal happy childhood other than the fact I was sexually molested when I was 9 years old. Three years ago I suffered a terrible family trauma. The combination of my childhood molestation and this major trauma 3 years ago gave me a severe case of PTSD. I had every symptom of PTSD in the worst way. I used to think that PTSD was a bunch of BS but I was so wrong about that. The nightmares, flashbacks, anger, hyper vigilance, depersonalization, and derealization were off the charts. Every day I lived in this intense state of fight or flight.

I tried cognitive therapy for 2 years which only helped to ground me somewhat but it did nothing to subdue the rage and sense of impending doom within me. It was at that point I decided to end my life because I felt there was no more hope left. As I began to make preparations to end my life, someone told me they just read something about psychedelics and how it can help treat PTSD. Being a physician, I thoroughly researched this treatment and felt like it was definitely worth giving it a try first. The results of all the current randomized double blinded studies were impressive.

I attended a psilocybin retreat and 3 separate MDMA sessions which did not cure my PTSD but they both helped me better manage it which was a win for me. Nevertheless, I was depressed and still living with all the symptoms of PTSD.

It was at this point that my Psilocybin and MDMA facilitators recommended 5meoDmt treatment which I received by an incredibly wonderful and professional team of facilitators. The only thing I remember about my treatment was seeing a kaleidoscope of white crystals and being shot out of a rocket into outer space and that’s it.

For the next six days after my treatment, I experienced multiple reactivation‘s during the night. At first these were scary because I began to wonder if these were gonna last forever. Each reactivation brought to the surface all of my negative thought patterns and all the walls that were put up to hold me back and only allow me to survive and not to truly live. I will say the reactivations were very helpful in that they made me deal with these issues and put them behind me and allow me to live a more honest and fulfilling life.

After the sixth day, the reactivations stopped and I felt this overwhelming sense of peace and calm about me. I felt as if I had been trapped in a deep dark cave for many years and then suddenly released into the sunshine. It was a glorious feeling.

Based upon my current symptoms, I no longer carry the diagnosis of PTSD!!!!!! I no longer have the anxiety, depression, guilt, anger, shame, and fight or flight that I once did prior to my 5meoDmt treatment. My “Big T” is now a “Small T”. I’m no longer emotionally labile and I don’t blow up or get easily upset as I once did. I now default to positive thought patterns instead of negative thought patterns and I truly enjoy my work again. I now strive to bring joy to every present moment and opportunity every day instead of allowing my trauma to define and defeat me.

I also came to the realization that the only true hope we all have is in God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit and the fact that we’re all connected in one big body of love.

It’s like being on an antidepressant but without the side effects and with the ability to experience joy again. I feel like this treatment truly saved my life. If this medicine can give me peace, it can give anyone peace!!!

JA, 58, Surgeon & Father