Ep.32 — MJ | Experiencing Infinite Freedom

MJ knew she’d be back.

The first time she left Enfold, she looked at Steve and said with quiet certainty, “We’ll see each other again.” She couldn’t explain why. She just knew.

When she returned a year later in August 2024, MJ was more open, more surrendered. She came back not because something was wrong, but because something inside her felt ready for more.

“I had this clear sense that my work wasn’t done yet.”

Her second journey wasn’t easy. The lead-up felt raw. Unexpected waves of grief and confusion surfaced during her solo drive across Canada, what she later came to recognize as the start of a pilgrimage.

“I just let myself cry the whole way there. And something about calling it a pilgrimage gave it meaning. It helped me surrender to the process.”

That surrender became her teacher.

In ceremony, MJ experienced something she couldn’t explain. A total opening, followed by a simple phrase that echoed from within:

“I don’t need to know anything.”

The relief of letting go, of no longer needing her mind to figure it all out, left a deep imprint.

“It felt like infinite freedom. Like something had lifted that I didn’t even realize I’d been carrying.”

But integration asked just as much of her. The weeks that followed stirred up emotions and old patterns that came to the surface to be felt and released.

“All the anxious, afraid, and angry parts felt online at once. But I had support and I knew this was part of the work.”

And slowly, the shifts settled in. MJ now speaks from a place of deepened presence. A gentleness with herself. A new way of being in her body and in the world.

“I used to live in my head. Now I feel energy. Emotion. Intuition. I relate to life in a completely different way.”

And most of all, she came home with trust.

Trust in her timing.
Trust in the unknown.
Trust in the quiet knowing that brought her back.

“It was the chance of a lifetime. And I’m so grateful I said yes.”

This is a conversation about letting go, staying with the unknown, and learning to hold paradox with grace.

In This Episode:

1. The deep knowing that brought MJ back a second time
2. Her encounter with “the resistance” — and how it shaped her ceremony
3. The moment she realized, “I don’t need to know anything”
4. Why integration was more challenging the second time — and more beautiful

📍MJ’s path reflects the sacred tension many in our community hold: reaching for the infinite while still walking the human path. If you’ve ever felt undone by the very healing you asked for, or unsure how to keep going — this one may offer a mirror.

🕊️ “I think I died. I was my soul. And that’s a big f***ing deal.” — MJ