Jen Wander 03-18-108 - Jen Boshan
Jen B.

The Details:

Age range: 30-40

Jen’s 5-MeO Ceremony Experience:

My first 5-MeO journey felt like coming home. The truest part of me remembered, but my ego took a moment to soften and surrender, initially resistant to and bracing against the fullest expression of what needed out. And then I dissolved into everything and nothing as my body finally processed trauma it had been holding for decades. It felt like the whole universe was holding me, and all that was in disharmony with the infinite and unconditional love I was being shown could release. It was finally time, I was protected, and it was safe now to let it all go.

The letting go process itself felt sorrowful and deeply healing. The unexpressed was finally being expressed. The stuck was somatically moving. Pockets in my physical body that had once stored emotional pain were emptied and filled back up with the brightest white light and love. And the spaciousness that followed was like basking in pure consciousness. When I came out, I felt new, like I had been reborn! Now reconnected to my inner child who was ready to be seen, loved and very excited to play. I felt wholeheartedly equipped to love her back and immensely grateful for that.

Jen’s 5-MeO Integration Experience:

Integration was an intricate journey full of profound beauty, emotional turbulence and also some moments of isolation. It was both slow and fast and completely non-linear. I felt tuned into my entire being on energetic, physical and emotional levels. Hypersensitive. My physical body became this labyrinth (or rather, I became awake to the fact that it had been all along). I could release stuck emotion with basic stretching, and breathwork was a runway to another full send. Daily insights, aha moments and the closing of old loops. Old coping mechanisms were no longer needed, and I was so full of gratitude.

There was also what seemed like a frustrating disconnect as old thought patterns and relational and attachment stories rooted in early wounds reemerged. They felt both combative and intrusive, which was important information itself, and simultaneously perfect and purposeful. The re-patterning process has been a humbling and challenging one. I learned that have to welcome in and accept all parts of myself without judgment or preference and embrace all expression. That I can discern between my truth and my trauma and, ultimately, which I let lead. Some days were graceful, and others clumsy. I’m still working on it :).

What Initially Drew Jen to Enfold:

I had sat with psychedelics before but was looking for a deeper, more embodied/somatic experience. I knew my body was holding onto more than I could make sense of and that I needed a full transformation/surrender moment to help me access the next level of my personal and spiritual growth.

5MeO had come up for me a few times, but it wasn’t until I found Steve & Austin’s work at Enfold that it finally felt aligned. I came to relocate my centre, and I thought maybe to complete my grieving process, but also because I just knew that everything I didn’t know was somehow on the other side of this experience.

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