Ep.29 — James | Living For What Matters

For years, James lived through an inner crisis.

On the outside, he was successful — an architect in Manhattan, raising two children. But inside, a rare neurological condition was slowly progressing. His body ached. His nervous system locked in survival mode. On top of that, his marriage was ending. The future he’d imagined no longer felt possible.

“I was in pain every day — physically, emotionally. Trying to hold it all together, constantly on edge.”

He started seeking. First Vedic meditation. Then psychedelic medicines. With each step, more relief. But the real turning point came in South Africa after a flood dose of Ibogaine. He arrived exhausted, in constant pain, unsure of what might happen. Returning home to New York after the experience, he was full of energy he hadn’t felt in years.

But he knew something deeper remained. Then he heard Enfold founder, Steve Rio, on a podcast and felt it clearly: this is the next step.

“I was about five months post-Ibogaine, and so I decided to contact you. We spoke, and it felt like a great fit. I felt like you guys offered an amazing program.”

James wasn’t new to psychedelic work. But 5-MeO was unlike anything he’d experienced.

“I was pulled into something enormous. It felt like the pain of all humanity. Without any voluntary action, this energy erupted out of my mouth. I wasn’t screaming — the scream moved through me.”

There was no resistance, only surrender. Then, a shift.

“I saw this temple — radiant, colourful, full of energy. I felt completely welcomed.”

What stayed with him most wasn’t the vision itself, but its impact . The realignment that began to unfold in the days and weeks that followed. There was a quiet permission to soften, to trust, to live differently.

Back home, James didn’t just feel better. He felt different. He restructured his days. Let go of caffeine and sugar. Began following a more human rhythm. Let go of 10-hour days behind the screen — and began to paint again.

“It has given me insight that allows me to be a better father and a better son — and most importantly, a better person to myself…I feel like I’ve returned to my innocence — that joyful, curious, unafraid part of me I thought was gone.”

James no longer talks about “fixing” himself. He’s not planning the next medicine experience. There’s no striving or searching. Just quiet clarity and a sense of coming home to.

“If you’re willing to listen, you can carry it into your life and build a better one.”

Whether you’re someone who has “tried everything” or you simply feel far from your own sense of aliveness, James’ story is a reminder: healing is possible. And you don’t have to do it alone.

In This Episode:
The moment James knew something had to change
His relationship with fear, faith, and finding a new kind of freedom
Why creativity and presence became his compass
A glimpse into his experience with the medicine, and the integration that followed

James’ story mirrors the lives of many in our community: midlife professionals with big hearts and quiet struggles, seeking a deeper connection to themselves and their path. If that sounds like you, this episode may offer a resonant thread.

“I felt a huge sense of relief… and hope in my life again.” — James